From my life right meow, please :)
This has been the week from HELL. I think it's karma getting me back for missing A's softball game on Monday for a hair appointment. Hey, it was my one bad mom moment of the week, eh I'm allowed (says me).
Tuesday, A had softball practice, it was a scrimmage, parents vs. players, yikes!! I got struck out twice by two 11 year olds, got jacked in the shin with the ball and pulled SEVERAL muscles. Good thing I took my ibuprofen before the game :) I learned the following: I can still throw, I can still catch, I can still get struck out, I can still get walked and I can trash talk a bunch of 6th graders like no body's business. Fun times.
Thursday night, A had another softball practice. I dropped her off and left her getting a ride home with the coach. She gets home and the dog is going crazy barking her fool head off and I hear "mommy, come here." And I'm all, what the? The coach is standing in my doorway explaining that A took another ball to the face, this time the ball bounced off a base and hit her in the mouth. Fat lip and a loose tooth as a result, five minutes later the kid pulls her tooth out. For the love, I'm gonna be all gray by the time I'm 37.
Friday night I took the girls to Hy-Vee for some Chinese. While there, we picked up our father's day cards and a few other groceries...we got to the counter to pay and oops, I forgot my cash card in my coat...at work. SUPER! Good thing I had the checkbook, does anyone write checks anymore?? Embarrassment averted and cash card retrieved we made it home to rest up for the softball tourney the next day.
Saturday, ALL DAY, was spent at the Norwalk ball fields. A's team lost their first game, Bella got kicked out of the park, A's team won the second game and they lost their third game. It was a long, hot day but it was bitter sweet watching the girls play. We made it to our home fields just in time to watch the last half of the nephews game.
Sunday is a lazy day, so I think. I slept in and planned on making the nephews 10a game and that didn't happen, so I plan on making the 2p game (which actually started at 130p). But before I could get in the shower, E comes in the house bawling and no glasses on her face. REALLY?!?! E wrecked her scooter GOOD. She's got road rash on her pretty face, all down her left arm, on her right elbow and all down her right leg. Band-aids soaked in Neosporin and we're semi-good. I look towards heaven and just shake my head....
Today, I actually get up early and am planning on actually being on time for work today when I discover I forgot to set the coffee pot the night before. So, like a TRUE coffee drinker, I pour some coffee in a glass and proceed to put said glass in to the microwave. Yeah, slipped outta my hand and landed all over the microwave, all over the counter below, all over the floor and all over me. Are you testing me today?? Mess cleaned up 30 minutes later and of course I'm late for work, rats.
Tonight, I'm getting ready to do laundry and the washer doesn't work. I mean, really, I can't make this shit up. I called in reinforcements (BIL T) and we fix it...for a load. I call Maytag who tells me that I'm out of my warranty, really? Good f'ing thing I bought the extended warranty, take that Maytag....oh I have to call someone ELSE?? Super. Appointment set (sometime between 12-5 on Thursday) and my washer is still broke, mom is doing my laundry (thanks mom) and dad and I are having words :) Oh, while trying to fix the washer problem, I blow a bunch of breakers in the house and dad had to drop whatever he was doing and come to my rescue...he had a few words with my breaker box while I had a few words with J, and they weren't nice. I'm calling it a night so I can start fresh in the morning....tomorrow is another day, and it could be better than today, right?? That's what I'm hoping for :)
It's good to be me...thanks for checking in.
L
Monday, June 21, 2010
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Another camping success :)
This past weekend was spent camping with my family....I had a great time!! But then, I always have a great time with my family...always.
On Friday afternoon, mom and dad on the Harley and the girls and I in the Jeep pulling the camper, we rolled out for our campin' weekend to just south of Clear Lake. We got there in just over 2 hours, it would have been a shorter trip if we wouldn't have had to make a couple stops along the way...somebody needed to rest their booty :) Camper and tent set up in record time and mom and I were off to the nearest Wal-Mart for stuff. We were there for a family reunion after all and you need stuff for that :) The rest of the family (the late-igans, you said it, not me) showed up at 1215a to us waiting up for Cousin Eddie + 5 to arrive :)
We got rain and cold wind on Saturday afternoon which disappointed the kids since we were planning on taking them swimming at Clear Lake beach so they had to make their own fun, which was refreshing to watch.
We packed up on Sunday and had a 3 vehicle convoy all the way home with some scary stuff mixed in. The wind was horrible rocking the RV, whipping the Harley around and messing with my awning. On our drive, no one noticed as we got closer to DSM that SB I35 was closed which meant we had to turn around ON THE INTERSTATE and find another way home. Um, I NEVER want to do that again....pretty sure I squealed the tires to avoid getting ran over by the giant RV behind me...nice driving Cousin Eddie :)
We made it home safe, sound and all a little wore out from battling the wind. We're all ready to pack up and do it again....next family camping excursion 4th of July weekend. I really can't wait!! For all the work setting up and taking down camping is, it's the nothing in between that makes the setting up and taking down worth while.
Thanks for checking in :)
L
On Friday afternoon, mom and dad on the Harley and the girls and I in the Jeep pulling the camper, we rolled out for our campin' weekend to just south of Clear Lake. We got there in just over 2 hours, it would have been a shorter trip if we wouldn't have had to make a couple stops along the way...somebody needed to rest their booty :) Camper and tent set up in record time and mom and I were off to the nearest Wal-Mart for stuff. We were there for a family reunion after all and you need stuff for that :) The rest of the family (the late-igans, you said it, not me) showed up at 1215a to us waiting up for Cousin Eddie + 5 to arrive :)
We got rain and cold wind on Saturday afternoon which disappointed the kids since we were planning on taking them swimming at Clear Lake beach so they had to make their own fun, which was refreshing to watch.
We packed up on Sunday and had a 3 vehicle convoy all the way home with some scary stuff mixed in. The wind was horrible rocking the RV, whipping the Harley around and messing with my awning. On our drive, no one noticed as we got closer to DSM that SB I35 was closed which meant we had to turn around ON THE INTERSTATE and find another way home. Um, I NEVER want to do that again....pretty sure I squealed the tires to avoid getting ran over by the giant RV behind me...nice driving Cousin Eddie :)
We made it home safe, sound and all a little wore out from battling the wind. We're all ready to pack up and do it again....next family camping excursion 4th of July weekend. I really can't wait!! For all the work setting up and taking down camping is, it's the nothing in between that makes the setting up and taking down worth while.
Thanks for checking in :)
L
Friday, June 4, 2010
It's a good place to be...
Where?? The place I'm sitting in my life right now.
I had my last scheduled counseling session yesterday...that was liberating. When the counselor said to me, "Lesa, I feel like you have a handle on things right now. I feel like your a completely different person now then you were when I first met you. You know what you want, your at a happy place in your life. I feel like we don't need to meet every other week but if you ever need to talk about something, I'll always be here to listen." At first, I was a little shocked but after thinking and hearing what she said, I'm ok with it. I DO feel better after all the sessions I've had. I DO feel like I have a handle on my life and all the things in it. I DON'T feel like I'm falling apart or 'doing it wrong'. I'm ok with this. Believe it or not, counselling confirmed a lot of things for me about my life and it was worth setting aside my pride and asking for the help I needed but didn't know I needed. Those who know me, know how hard that was for me to do.
I learned a lot in counseling. One of the most important things I learned was, I'm STILL writing MY book on grief and my book isn't done yet. But it's MY book, not anyone else's and it's my way of dealing and there really is no right or wrong in my book. Did you hear that....IT'S NOT WRONG. I think I needed to hear that, no, I know I needed to hear that. I needed to hear that from an unbiased third party that didn't know me from the next guy. In my head I've been living in the "OMG, what do people think about me, that I'm not laying down and dying, that I'm not more broken. Do they think I've forgotten? Do they think I'm 'doing it wrong' according to them?" Guess what...I don't really put stock in what people think about what I'm doing anymore because I'm writing my own book, for me. When 'people' walk a mile in my shoes then maybe 'people' can have a say and then maybe I'll care (or maybe not, because it's still different)...until then, I'm me and I'm doing this myself.
Since losing J, I've been in a lot of stages of grief. I realize (now) that I spent a lot of time in the denial stage last year with my 'wild ways' and worrying everyone close to me. I get that. The point is, I recognized and pulled myself out of it. I learned that it's ok to visit each and every stage of the grieving process, as long as it's just a visit and I don't show signs of moving in.
You know I've never said this but, it's nice hearing that everyone is proud of me for doing what I've been able to do since losing J. And those who've said that to me KNOW I always counter that with, I'm just doing what anyone else would do in my position, which I wholeheartedly believe. I attribute a lot of this to the way I was raised with the 'Buck up Buckaroo' parents I had (said with much love mom and dad). But, finally, I'm proud of me, and that's something I haven't been able to say to myself until now. I'm proud of doing things my way and not listening to others opinions on how I should be dealing. I feel like the girls are proud of me too. And equally important, I feel like J would be proud of me...there was a time in this last year plus that I didn't believe he would. I'm doing exactly what he wanted me to do, moving forward.
The road that I have traveled getting to this exact spot in my life, is the road that I was meant to travel. The why's will always be there and will never be answered. Every thing that I've experienced and done (right or wrong) since losing J has made me a stronger person than I was when he was here. I've found myself without him. So far, in my mind, this is my greatest accomplishment.
Thanks for checking in....
L
I had my last scheduled counseling session yesterday...that was liberating. When the counselor said to me, "Lesa, I feel like you have a handle on things right now. I feel like your a completely different person now then you were when I first met you. You know what you want, your at a happy place in your life. I feel like we don't need to meet every other week but if you ever need to talk about something, I'll always be here to listen." At first, I was a little shocked but after thinking and hearing what she said, I'm ok with it. I DO feel better after all the sessions I've had. I DO feel like I have a handle on my life and all the things in it. I DON'T feel like I'm falling apart or 'doing it wrong'. I'm ok with this. Believe it or not, counselling confirmed a lot of things for me about my life and it was worth setting aside my pride and asking for the help I needed but didn't know I needed. Those who know me, know how hard that was for me to do.
I learned a lot in counseling. One of the most important things I learned was, I'm STILL writing MY book on grief and my book isn't done yet. But it's MY book, not anyone else's and it's my way of dealing and there really is no right or wrong in my book. Did you hear that....IT'S NOT WRONG. I think I needed to hear that, no, I know I needed to hear that. I needed to hear that from an unbiased third party that didn't know me from the next guy. In my head I've been living in the "OMG, what do people think about me, that I'm not laying down and dying, that I'm not more broken. Do they think I've forgotten? Do they think I'm 'doing it wrong' according to them?" Guess what...I don't really put stock in what people think about what I'm doing anymore because I'm writing my own book, for me. When 'people' walk a mile in my shoes then maybe 'people' can have a say and then maybe I'll care (or maybe not, because it's still different)...until then, I'm me and I'm doing this myself.
Since losing J, I've been in a lot of stages of grief. I realize (now) that I spent a lot of time in the denial stage last year with my 'wild ways' and worrying everyone close to me. I get that. The point is, I recognized and pulled myself out of it. I learned that it's ok to visit each and every stage of the grieving process, as long as it's just a visit and I don't show signs of moving in.
You know I've never said this but, it's nice hearing that everyone is proud of me for doing what I've been able to do since losing J. And those who've said that to me KNOW I always counter that with, I'm just doing what anyone else would do in my position, which I wholeheartedly believe. I attribute a lot of this to the way I was raised with the 'Buck up Buckaroo' parents I had (said with much love mom and dad). But, finally, I'm proud of me, and that's something I haven't been able to say to myself until now. I'm proud of doing things my way and not listening to others opinions on how I should be dealing. I feel like the girls are proud of me too. And equally important, I feel like J would be proud of me...there was a time in this last year plus that I didn't believe he would. I'm doing exactly what he wanted me to do, moving forward.
The road that I have traveled getting to this exact spot in my life, is the road that I was meant to travel. The why's will always be there and will never be answered. Every thing that I've experienced and done (right or wrong) since losing J has made me a stronger person than I was when he was here. I've found myself without him. So far, in my mind, this is my greatest accomplishment.
Thanks for checking in....
L
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