Overuse I love you...

The last words said to me at 6:00a, December 31, 2008 were, "I love you".

O-ver-use = Use too much

I am fully aware that I'm a regular offender of overusing “I love you” and I'm not sorry.  I NEED those closest, those furthest, my circle, my people to know that if I take my last breath before seeing you again, my love for you should never be a question. 

I tell the hubs I love him every day, like 50 times a day, and I mean it every single time.  I tell the girls, every time I talk to them.  I tell my parents, every time I talk to them.  I tell my sister (each member of her family), every time I see her/them.  IT’S IMPORTANT THAT THEY ALL KNOW.  

Love hurts.  It’s a deep hurt when you lose the love that you thought you’d have forever.   

Love is happy.  It’s happy when your babies say it, even when they’re 20 and 21.  When the hubs says it.  When you hear it from your loved ones and friends.

Love is sad.  It just is sometimes.  

Love is scary.  It’s scary when the one you love passes and takes a little piece of you with them, forever, fearing you’ll never love again.  Also, scary because when you do love again, you’re forever waiting for the other shoe to drop. 

Love is smothering.  It’s smothering, I’m sure, for the children when all I want to do is help them make the “right” decisions when they might not necessarily be the right decisions for them, but for me for them.

Love is everything.  It’s my everything.  It’s always been my thing.  I love fiercely.  I may not like you because you’ve pissed me off, but I’ll always love you (I feel like I’ve said this a lot this year). 

So, when I say, “I love you”, I mean it in the purest form.  I don’t say it because that’s what comes next, or because it’s the right thing to say at the right time, or because Fireball Okra.  I tell you because everyone deserves to know if someone loves them, loves what they add to your life and to what depths because (in the words of JY) you take a chance waking up in the morning.

"If I ever tell you about my past, it's never because I want you to feel sorry for me, but so you can understand why I am who I am."

Because of those last words spoken to me in the voice I haven't heard in 11 years; I will always make sure you know that "I love you".  I'll never be able to communicate how much or how deep that love is rooted.

No matter how hard this day is, love lives from beyond.

Cheers at 6a..

Thanks for checking in, L