Do you know the meaning of the word?? I looked it up and here is one def. of it: To feel uneasy or concerned about something; be troubled.
Apparently I'm causing a lot of people a lot of worry. While I appreciate and love all of the people who are worried about me, I'm here to tell you, I'M FINE. I promise, the moment you need to start worrying about me is about the time I hole up in the house, in my bed, no showers, no brushing my teeth, and no doing my hair (because we ALL know how cool I think my hair is). That's when you need to worry.
I'm going to try and explain this to you so you might have some idea what walking in my shoes feels like. And unless you've lost your husband, and even if you have, you will NEVER truly know how hard it is to make it thru the day wondering when the other shoe will fall.
I'm trying to find my way, the only way I know how. I'm going out, yes. I'm drinking, yes. Is it a problem, NO. I'm living my life, yes....because GD, I'm still here to walk thru the day with the girls. To lean on them and for them to lean on me. Is it hard for all of us, yes.
In the past 5 1/2 months I've made some decisions knowing that I would get hurt, that my heart would get broken. But you know what, I'm glad I did make those decisions because at least I know that I can still feel, hope and believe in life and other people. Did it suck to get hurt, yes....but I feel like I'm a better person for doing it, for following my heart and even risking it.
I'm gonna say it again....there is no need to worry about me, I'm still me, the same me I was when JY was here the only difference is - I'm the one having fun. I don't mean that to sound bad....but we all know who took care of things ;) I guess I just really wanted to let those who are worried about me know....I love you for the worry, but it's not warranted. I'm just trying to find out who Lesa is and that's either alone having great fun with my friends or with someone who makes me catch my breath and heart ache with a look....that's all.
Luv ya, and thanks for checking in...
L
2 comments:
I just want you to know that I think of you still everyday. If you need to talk, call me anytime. I'm supporting you & I know its a challange. Keep hanging in there. Love you. Sasha
worry also is a way to show love,but I don't think it is in the dictionary. you just have a lot of people who love you--but most important are those 2 sweet girls you talk about. love Aunt Deb
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