Monday, May 4, 2009

Random...

Monday's suck!! But if we didn't have Monday's, then Tuesday's would suck!! It's a losing battle for sure :)

Tonight the state gymnastics competitors had a 'photo shoot' for the paper. I might have had my camera out where it didn't belong (sorry Sheri), not too shabby for the purse camera!! Enjoy!

Funny pictures of 3 funny lookin' little girls, looks like they're having some fun!
More of the goof troop. (Nice camera work Lesa, geez)
Awe, that's better, nice smiles girls!! Who are these 'grown up' looking girls?
State Champs (Slye) and runners up (Allyson)!
Oops, how did this get in here??? ;)
Goofy pictures of the whole group.
Nice picture - newspaper worthy.
STAND STILL - I know that's really hard for you Allyson Young!!

Saturday, May 2, 2009

Woot Woot!!

Pretty low key around the Young house this week, about damn time!! Only one night of running the girls around to gymnastics and I didn't even do that (thanks mom).

Pretty boring weekend...except for the outing last night - which was super fun!!

Maybe tomorrow will bring some news worthy stuff to hear about, to be continued.....

Thanks for checking in.

L

Monday, April 27, 2009

Checklist...

Since losing J, I've been carrying around a checklist of things I need to do for me, the house, the girls and for J. Today I marked off one of the few things left to do. I finalized and paid for J's headstone. It's not like I've been living in denial, not accepting and trying to come to terms with the hand I've, we've been dealt. It's just that today it became more real.

The girls and I have steered clear of the cemetery, we haven't been there since the day we said our good byes to him not wanting to go out there for several reasons but mainly because there is only a tiny marker with his name on it (so I've been told). So in about a month we'll have a bench to sit and talk a while, a place to visit. As will the rest of the family. Am I scared to death for that day to come?? Hell yes.

I have many things to say to JY, things I say to him in my head everyday. Maybe out there, in that spot, I'll be able to say them out loud....maybe.

Thanks for checking in.

L

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Pictures from Ally's music concert...

I didn't have a very good seat to take pictures and I had the dreaded purse camera instead of my kick ass camera (will I ever learn) so they aren't very good. Prizes to anyone who can pick Allyson out of the crowd :)

Allyson's grade singing....
Allyson's grade singing....
Allyson's grade rockin' the recorders!!

Another busy weekend in the bag....

Friday night I met up with some buddies of mine at a bar in DSM directly after work. It was beautiful, the drinks were flowing, then it down poured on us...well not on us, but you know what I mean. I had a great time, stayed out on the town not rolling into the driveway until 3a. What do you do until 3a?? I'd love to tell ya, but I'm not gonna :)

Saturday the girls and I drove up to Ankeny for a day with the Schaben's!! We had lunch and chatted while the kids played play-doh and trashed their house! Curt went with me to look at Jeeps (yes, Gwen may be going bye bye, I miss my Jeep and am looking to replace her..). Curt is HARD CORE, because if I would have had my way I would have been all, 'That's all you want to trade, I'll take it'. I'm glad he was with me, the girls were disappointed, but eh, they aren't making the payments :)

Saturday night was a night in, we didn't do anything. My BF came down and hung with me, which was nice. Weekends are so hard for me...

Today it was inventory again, woot woot!! Tana and I worked in G'ma and G'pa's room, overwhelming would be an understatement!! I've told you before what g'ma Austin's motto was (1 is good, 15 is better) and it was proved yet again today while going thru JUST the necklaces (which BTW, she has 84 that were just hanging on a board on her wall, we haven't gotten to the rest). I found 15 row-like packaged lipsticks that held about 15 inside, REALLY, who needs that much lipstick?? I realized today that I might be just like g'ma (not that I mind because she was a cool lady) because when I find something I like, I buy one in every color. Yeah, we might be the same. So, of course since we found about 1500 lipsticks, of course we should try some on and see what all the hype is about (pictures to follow). A couple of things I learned today: g'ma liked lipstick (not a big shocker) and she liked shower caps...you go girl!!

I bailed on inventory early, finished a book while the girls were up at their cousin's house playing, thought about making dinner (chicken in a basket, btw) which was cut short by a fast run carrying a dog over to mom and dad's because it was looking nasty out and I'm not that in to storms.

Everyone is just about tucked in and I'll be calling it shortly. I sit here and wonder, where the heck did the weekend go and how did I miss it? Hopefully next week isn't as shitty as last week was, I'm not being optimistic but one can dream, right?

Thanks for checking in.

L

Me rockin' one of 17 shower caps I found in the closet and some flashy lipstick!!
Tana rockin' the same lipstick, I think it looks hot and I might have watched her palm a tube for herself :)
Nice hat Jared, I told you that you'd find yourself on the blog rockin' this hat!! Luv ya!

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Pity party serving #1....

These are my feelings and my words and I'm not going to apologize for them. Did you like that little disclaimer?

Today, yesterday actually, I was asked if I felt like I was being left behind while everyone else moves on with their life. And you know what, that's exactly how I feel. I feel like the 'newness' of losing J has worn off and everyone has forgotten and moved on. Now, don't misunderstand what I'm saying...while I know that everyone else has a life to move on to, I just think that it's not fair. I don't begrudge anyone their happiness, it's just hurts to see it. But then in the same breath, I want to/need to move forward as well but I can't because I feel guilty for wanting/needing that. Does that make any kind of sense? I know that J wouldn't want me lying around feeling sorry for myself because he's gone - that's what I want to do...however, what I need to do is pick myself up and carry on...without him. I know that there are people out there that know what I'm talking about, what I'm feeling. Just like I know I should probably join a support group of some kind...I will, maybe, when I'm ready to do that and I just don't know when that will be - there isn't a time limit is there?

I want to be with people, not people like me but people...I'm making no sense but maybe if I explained it this way....When I was in FL I was Lesa Young. Not mom, not grieving widow (omg) and not someone for people to stare at. To be honest, I've never felt more invisible then when we were in FL and I was perfectly fine with that. No one knew me, knew what hell I've been thru in the last 4 months, I was just another small town girl taking a nice vacation with my sister and cousin. And I had F U N. I got to be the me I remember from so long ago. I didn't forget what happened, I just didn't think about it 24/7 like I do when I'm at home, in Iowa. I don't need to be reminded that J's gone, it's very in my face every minute of every day - I'll never forget seeing J for the last time and I relive that morning every night when I close my eyes.

I miss him something terrible. The way he laughed, the way he smiled, the way he pissed me off and the way we made up. I just wish, for one second, that I could feel his arms wrapped around me in a big hug lifting me off the floor in the process.

Pity party serving one.

Thanks for checking in.

L

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Pics from the State Gymnastics meet.....part 2

Allyson 5th in the state in tumbling today!

Allyson 2nd in the state on Trampoline.

Allyson first in her flight on trampoline! There is a story behind this picture, I'll have to share it in my next post!

Allyson stretching (or something) while waiting to kick butt on trampoline!

Awe, sweet little Ally Kae.

Pics from the State Gymnastics meet...

Emily 3rd in Tumbling today!
Emily and her buddy Bailey.
Emily with Coach Sue.
Emily 4th in the state on Trampoline.
Emily 3rd on Double Mini Trampoline.

Pics from FL - part 3

Addition to a tattoo I already had, done in FL.
New tattoo in FL.

Pics from FL, part 2

Hot chicks on the pier in Key West.
Hot, Hot, Hot peeps soaking up the sun in Key West!
Awe, Bobby and Lesa - Sobe
Rock it Bobby!
Sunset in Key West.