Since losing J, I've been carrying around a checklist of things I need to do for me, the house, the girls and for J. Today I marked off one of the few things left to do. I finalized and paid for J's headstone. It's not like I've been living in denial, not accepting and trying to come to terms with the hand I've, we've been dealt. It's just that today it became more real.
The girls and I have steered clear of the cemetery, we haven't been there since the day we said our good byes to him not wanting to go out there for several reasons but mainly because there is only a tiny marker with his name on it (so I've been told). So in about a month we'll have a bench to sit and talk a while, a place to visit. As will the rest of the family. Am I scared to death for that day to come?? Hell yes.
I have many things to say to JY, things I say to him in my head everyday. Maybe out there, in that spot, I'll be able to say them out loud....maybe.
Thanks for checking in.
L
2 comments:
Be brave. It will give you more peace than you can possibly imagine. God Bless!
Hi Lesa,
Maybe you will...Maybe you won't..whichever works for you is OK Lesa, for Jeff already knows. All my Love, Deb
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