Since losing J, I feel like I'm always counting...Counting firsts, seconds, thirds, and lasts. There have been so many firsts that I've lost count...I know that makes no sense but there it is. There have been first birthdays, first gymnastic meets, first school concerts, first school conferences, first Mother's Day, first disappointments (for me, the girls)....it's damn depressing how many things one person misses when they 'leave' the rest of us behind.
The girls and I have been out to the cemetary once (Mother's Day), we didn't get out of the car and when we pulled away we were all bawling like babies. J's headstone will be set by Wednesday (Ally's 10th birthday, no less). When I heard that over the phone today I wanted to throw up in my trash can after I hung up. Seeing the stone out there will be another first that's gonna be hard to walk thru. But us girls...we'll do it and we'll do it together because J wouldn't want it any other way.
Time for a cocktail...
L
5 comments:
Lesa-That had to been incredibly tough for you to do. I can't imagine. Wish I could be there with you. Love ya like a sis. Sasha
You all must be pretty proud of yourselves. You made the cemetery tour together. Yes! You did it. Good job!
You'll see the stone together. You three Austin/Young women hangin' together -- ya'll are awesome!
...and Jeff will be there holding You..Estar and Cakes up. He loves you all so much...
Deb
Lesa, you can throw up about it all. You can. I'm sure you have. You will again.
But you are still the strong, carrying on, take care of business Austin "woman" that is required in this job of "Widow", Widow of JY.
You are doing the job; you are carrying on. You are "Woman".
We are proud.
Yes we are very proud. Hey --you made it to the cemetary and you will see the stone and use that soda can holder. ((((hugs))) love aunt deb
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