Today Emily got to take 3 friends swimming to the Hotel Fort Des Moines to celebrate her birthday, thanks to Grandad. Much to her chagrin, Allyson had to tag along :) We left the house at 215p and the girls got to swim for a couple of hours, have pizza and Emily got gifts!! I told her since it wasn't her real birthday, she couldn't open the presents and her friends thought I was serious...that is awesome!!
It was a happy and sad day. It's the first real thing JY has missed and I know Emily thought that at one point today. Why this has to be our life now I will forever question and will probably never receive an answer. One of life's greatest mysteries I suppose.
Tonight, I dropped Emily off at a friends house to spend the night and then Allyson to do the same. The first for both of them since J's been gone. This leaves me in the house alone for the first time since J's been gone. I cried after leaving Allyson at her friend's house. I picked up the phone and called J's BF and sobbed into his voicemail about needing a boy voice and boy talk and to tell him about the weekend I had, just to listen...I felt silly afterwards...He called back tho and we had a great convo about nothing and everything and he called me an idiot when I told him I put Gwen in the ditch. I laughed and said thanks, that's exactly what I needed and wanted yesterday from J...he would have said the same thing and then gave me a big J hug.
It's hard to believe it's only been 45ish days since I said good bye to him....it seems like a million years since I hugged him, kissed him, told him I loved him, argued with him or snuggled up to him. I never knew missing and loving a person so much caused so much pain.
Thanks for checking in.
L
p/s - Thanks mom and dad for making Emily's day and helping out by being the other car to haul the overflow of kids...I luv you guys.
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