I don't know why today and not to bad yesterday...Maybe things are catching up to me?? Maybe because I was trying to plan Emily's birthday party, the first without JY, and nothing I want to do or that she wants to do is panning out so it will be a little low key and I'm sure she'll hate every minute of it. Oh well, I'll try again next year.
Or maybe it was the fact that I booked my birthday trip to sunny Florida to see my buddy Bob and I didn't get to rub it in JY's face that I was finally taking the trip we've been talking about for 3 years now. Or maybe it's because he's just not here and he's never coming back? It could be any one of those things or all of them combined. Every day is a struggle to keep my sh*t together.
The girls and I took a trip to DSM (duh) on our night off doing nothing and on the way home (since mom figured out how to get CD's in the dash of my car, thanks mom) I listened to a CD J had made for me way back in the day and one song in particular had me almost pulling over to the side of the road to bawl my eyes out. I didn't tho, because I didn't want to freak out the girls...that wouldn't have been cool. The song? My Best Friend by Tim McGraw. J said that this song said everything he wanted to say to me but couldn't....I miss him so much....
L
4 comments:
I'm sorry Sweetheart. I just wish I could take some of your pain away. I miss Jeffay, too.
Luv, dad
Sending {{{{hugs}}}}--as Nance always says all of us moms or aunts in this case wish we could take the pain away--but we can't. Some day you will think lovingly of Jeff when you hear this song BUT that will take time.Hang in there. Love Aunt Debbie
I wish I could give you a big squeeze. Keep hanging in there. Thinking of you today & everyday. Sasha
We are sending you a Big Hug Lesa.
We Love you so much..
JY is loving you too!
Mom and Bruce
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