Thanks Mona...

I mentioned Mona in my post exactly one week ago today. She's in the same boat that I'm in, she's probably counting all the firsts that go with losing a loved one, especially losing someone that you thought you'd have until the end of time, like I did. Hearing about Dennis brought back all the firsts that I've completed. I went back to the beginning and reread all that I've written and all the comments written as well. It was so hard to do and I know that there are a million more firsts waiting for me to accomplish. I don't want to, I do know that. Some days I don't know how I'm going to get thru. Some things I can't believe I'm doing on my own. It was never supposed to be like this dammit and it sucks a$$ that this is the way it will always be. In the back of my mind, in my heart I know as time goes on, the hurt will be less painful.

It's been 3 VERY long months that I've been without Jeff, the girls have been without their daddy, his mom and dad (and steps) without their son, his sisters without their brother, his SIL's and BIL's without their brother, his MIL and FIL without their 'son', his friends losing a great friend and it hurts just like it did when I found out he was gone, maybe a little bit more.

Today is a double whammy because it marks the 2nd anniversary of my BF losing her sister, a husband who lost his wife, 2 little girls who lost their mother, her parent's losing a daughter and a brother losing a sister....Life is so unfair and I'm trying really hard not to be pissed off about it, however, each day I feel like I'm fighting a losing battle.

I got an email from Mona yesterday, trying to lift spirits of those she sent it to, this is only part of it:

God doesn't give you the people you want, He gives you the people you NEED. To help you, to hurt you, to leave you, to love you and to make you into the person you were meant to be.

I figure, she's one week out and because she sent this she is the strongest person I know and I love her for sending it.

Thanks for checking in.

L