It's nights like tonight, while I'm sitting in the computer room in silence, that I can't believe Jeff is really gone. Some days, I still feel like he'll just walk thru the door anxious to start dinner while bitching about having to stop at Starbucks for me :)
I'm working on 8 months without him so you would think I would be used to the silence, the being alone and trying to keep my shit together to raise two beautiful girls....but I'm not. I know it's not an overnight thing, I know because of the years and years we had together it's not supposed to be easy or quick but knowing that doesn't make it easier....or move along faster.
I'm not sure what it is about THIS DAY but the memories have been assaulting me and for no other reason than I have let them....today. Today I'm struggling and I'm not sure why.
Maybe I just miss having someone (other than a 10 and 11 yr old) to talk to, someone to tell about my boring assed day, someone to talk to about what's for dinner, someone to talk to about the funny things the girls did today, someone to hug, someone to love and someone to love me back.....Yeah, I miss that....I miss J.....
Thanks for checking in....
L
3 comments:
Dear Lesa, This is for you...
A Time to Remember..
Though I am no longer here..
remember that my last breath did not say goodbye, for my love for you is truly timeless. I leave myself not to the earth
but to your memory, with love.
I leave my thoughts, my laughter, my dreams to you whom I have treasured beyond gold and precious gems. I give you what no thief can steal, the memories of our times together; the tender love filled moments, the successes we have shared, the hard times that brought us closer together and the roads we have walked side by side. I leave you a solemn promise; though I am home with God, I am still present...Whenever, wherever you can call on me. My energy is drawn to you by the magnet of our love. Whenever you are in need, call me; I will come to you...with my arms filled with wisdom and light..to open up your blocked paths and to untangle your knots. And, what I took with me as I left was your love, and the millions of memories of all that we shared. My roots and yours are forever intertwined. Yeah, Lesa, I think this is what Jeff is sending to you tonight from his shining star. I love you...Deb
How can you not miss JY? How can you not be lonely. We all wish it were easier for you and yours girls.
God didn't promise "skys always blue" . . . and you don't even want continually blue skies -- you just want to go back to what you had.
Wow! some powerful words, above, from Deb . . . no thief can take your memories
I think Deb and Nance said it all.HUGS Aunt Debbie
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