1 step forward and 2 steps back...

Just when I think I can make it thru the day without crying I see Jeff's name and the tears start to fall.

It happened tonight while I was trying to prepare for a visit from ML to go over the basketball tourney info that Jeff had saved on his computer from last years tourney. This required going thru email from last year both on his computer and mine. It's so hard to see all the work he put into making something better than great. Sure, last year was our 'inaugural' tourney and we didn't have any idea what we were doing but for being the first we were pretty successful. We didn't do it all ourselves, we had tons of help...but when I was reading thru all of the email and remembering how long and hard Jeff worked on this I got caught up in how I was dealing with his one thought focus while in the planning and executing stage last year. I was mad at him for taking on this giant project and spending all of his free time working on it. We had many a fights during the planning and executing stage of this last year but we still worked together towards one goal. I think that's what is so hard, we were a team on this...he knew I didn't know one thing about basketball and he loved me for indulging him anyway.

Last year it was called the I-35 Youth Basketball Tournament, this year it's the JY Youth Basketball Tournament....he would have been honored......

I am a one love girl I've decided.....JY lived life like there was no tomorrow and encouraged (to the point of annoyance) everyone around him to do the same. Life around my house is just.....boring now. How do you go on from here, I don't know. We'll find a way, I know we will....and I know it won't happen overnight....

Thanks for checking in....

L