Only maybe a little bit worse. Today we took a field trip to the funeral home. Believe it when I tell you I NEVER want to go thru that again, EVER. I had major trouble keeping my shit together and failed to in the end.
Will my heart ever be the same? The pain that I am feeling is not only pain for myself it's pain for my babies, for JY's mom/dad, friends and for everyone else that has paid their respects by coming to the house. The support is amazing and gigantic.
Tomorrow is the viewing and Ally has already told me she doesn't want to see her dad. WHAT?? Of course she'll see him, on her terms...Oh god, why does this have to be so hard and so wrong? How will I ever have a chance to explain to my 2 beautiful children what I myself don't even understand? What about the next birthdays, the next holidays, the next ANYTHING. I feel so lost. Everyone keeps telling me that I'm strong, I don't feel so strong, I'm a blubbering idiot and can't form or keep 2 thoughts in my head. My world as I knew it is no longer and I just don't know how we'll survive....
Information regarding visitation and funeral times can be found here under Jeffrey Michael Young's link. Thank you for all of your kind words.
L
No comments:
Post a Comment