The slumber party was a hit!! All was good when I woke up this morning, all the kids were up, my sister was up, mom was up and already gone...Julie left shortly after and the girls and I got ready for the day.
Emily and Allyson had basketball games today, Ally at 11a and Emily at 12p & 2p. Allyson's team lost by ONE stinkin' point, that sucked. Emily's team lost both games, the first game they were beat pretty badly but the second game they only lost by 6 points...bummer. I sure hope they win at least one game this year, that was one of JY's goals...After the games, Emily and Allyson went to Julie's house to play with the cousins while I rode along with mom on her trip to DSM.
The girls and I are at the house alone tonight. We rented movies, made popcorn, locked the doors and now they're playing SingStar on PS2. I'm sitting in the computer room typing this and feeling sorry for myself and maybe crying a little bit, ok a lot. If JY were here, we'd be up at the Richardson's playing cards, or over at mom and dad's doing the same or playing Wii bowling....I'm just really very sad tonight. I was telling my cuz earlier tonight that I was a stronger person when JY was standing beside me, and that I don't even know who I am any more. I am no longer Jeff and Lesa, I'm just Lesa. That hurts so bad I can't even explain how bad that hurts...I just feel very lost and I'm so, so, so sad without him. As Allyson says, it's just not fair.
Don't worry, I'll be fine. I just needed to vent a little......
Luv,
L
3 comments:
Hey Lesa. Have I mentioned just how proud I am of you? Friday night was something special. I too, could feel Jeff there. I know he was watching over you and the girls. He will always be with you, his love, his spirit, and his wonderful self living thru you and the girls. No one can ever take that away from you.
When the days are tough-and there are days that seem like you are just so alone, hang on tight to your wonderful parents (damn they are special), and your beloved sister (who loves you soooo much) and all of your family and friends who want to be there for you. You will never, ever be alone as Jeff wasn't the only one who was awesome, special and oh so great. You, too, are one hell of a great daughter, sister and friend. Jeff's love will stay with you forever and no matter how much it hurts, keep his memory alive by living every day to the fullest and filling your days with love. Sounds corny and stupid, but Jeff would want you to keep living, laughing and loving.
I am so proud of you for keepig this site up. You have so many people reading, laughing, and crying (sometimes at the same time!) Did I mention that I love you and I am SOO proud of you? The fact that you can put your true feelings out there-the good, the bad and tears, it shows just how strong you are and it shows that you are teaching those beautiful daughers that it's okay to laugh, it's okay to cry and it's okay to have good and bad days.
Hang in there sista and keep on keepin on!
SE
You are one tough cupcake...even though there is no mix......I am your mother and I want to make it right for you, but I know, that no matter what I do or say can not make JY come back to you. I love you so much and know that you will go on....you have shown me how tough you are ...we as your family will stand by your side and do what is right for you and the girls and only you can make the discisions that are best for you and the girls in this long journey. I speak for your family only, that we have suffered a GREAT loss and will remember and honor JY forever, as your soul mate, husband, best friend, father, brother and son. Love, Mom and Dad
Hey Lesa. You know, one tragic incident might have taken away, "Jeff and Lesa" but the love you guys shared, the memories, the bond between the two of you, and your children will always and forever make you "Jeff's Lesa." You will never just be "Lesa."
Thinking of you...
Love you guys...
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