Today marked the 5th day of my return to 'normalcy', whatever normal is for us. We're still trying to figure that out. A large part of normal is earning a paycheck and that's what I've been doing since Monday...Isn't life grand.
I love to read and used to start and finish a book in a day, two at the most. Now, I started a book 2 weeks ago and I can't seem to get it finished. I love playing on Pogo.com, but haven't brought myself to play for more than 5 minutes before I lose interest. I've come to realize that the things that I thought were important, just aren't. They are sooooooo non-important that I can't believe I waste so much time doing these things. So, now I don't know what to do with myself....
That's what the girls and I have been trying to figure out...without Jeff, what do we do?? We revolved around him. Everything we did was about him, in some form or another. And we were his world. I know we were...Sure he b*tched every now and again that he never saw his friends, but that was his choice, his choice to be with us. That's what he wanted to do, his b*tching was all for show. And that is something I'll hold close to my heart. As will the girls, he was always just there.
L
3 comments:
Yep, that's what he liked to do, just hang. That was my boy. The memories are all we have now. Great memories of times that were so much fun. Alone times just talking about things. Cherish those thoughts, Sweetie. They are the things that will help you, the girls and those us of that really knew Jeffay get through each day. It will always be one day at a time.
luv, dad
I think that's what's so hard about all of this is that Jeff was just always there. I just knew with all of my being that he would always just be here. The countless times mom, you and I would be hanging out on the patio and he would saunder over and say "What's up?". He was just checking in to see what was going on while taking a break from a movie marathon or a poker game or work. He did it that day we had our "Christmas Baking Day" over at mom's. He was such a presence in our family and without him it will be very, very different. Just as dad put it, it will always just be one day at a time.
I love you with all of my heart,
Julie
Lesa---Unfortunately the hurt is not going away over night. Jeff was such a great dad/husband/sil/bil and it is going to hurt but you have such great memories and he meant so much to alot of people as has been shown by your Dad and Mom ,Julie and his family and alot of others!!! Just take one day at a time--there is a big hole missing.Remember those baby steps and sometimes you might slide back. Hang in there.Remember he is still there in your heart.(((HUGS))) again from Aunt Deb
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