I got out of the house and went to the girls' basketball games and didn't throw up. I wanted to, but I didn't. I was uncomfortable, I didn't talk to anyone that didn't talk to me first (which was few and far between) and I only left the gym a couple of times to get a grip.
The girls played so well, JY would have been proud. Allyson's team won their game. Emily's team lost both games, but they actually played as the team JY always knew that they were. After losing the first game, Emily came over to me and said, "Did you see me mom, I played the point for dad". Jebus, yes she did and he would have been so, so proud of how she handled the ball. My goodness my kids are amazing.
The Earlham league head made his way over to me to offer his condolences....that was awkward, it always will be. Guess, I'll have to pull it together huh?
This is the first of many firsts JY will miss out on, and damn it that hurts so much. I miss him so much that I feel like he'll just walk thru the door and say, "Hey babes, I'm home, what do you want me to fix for dinner?"
L
3 comments:
Another step--good job. Uncle Marty and I believe that he did see and was proud and is proud of all 3 of you. keep taking those steps --slowly they will get easier.Jeff is with all of you in your heart as well. love you aunt Deb p.s I just always hope they don't see when ZI do something stupid or act like a ninnyhammer!!!
LOL, you are too funny :)
And I bet for the next year and beyond, you will keep expecting JY to walk through the door. You'll think you hear him in the next room. You might even think you see him (and I'll believe you when tell us.)
Oh Lesa, you are going to miss him so, so much . . . of course you will. But you did good! You took the girls to the gym. You lived through the day. You accepted the league head's condolances. Look at all the milestones. Milestones you didn't want and didn't ask for but Milestones anyway. Each one the baby step that someone else talked about.
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